


All I didn't know I wanted

by jenjen92



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Sex, Falling In Love, Fever, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Explicit Sex, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, Snapshots, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenjen92/pseuds/jenjen92
Summary: Oikawa needed to forget. Suga could help with that.Neither of them expected to fall in love.





	All I didn't know I wanted

The alcohol burned as it slipped down Oikawa's throat. He sighed, placing the shot glass down onto the bar counter before ordering another. Oikawa had never liked weddings. This time he barely knew the couple meaning there was not at least any emotional attachment. The groom was an old acquaintance who became close friends with Iwaizumi at university and so an invitation was extended to him too out of politeness. Not that he would notice if Oikawa slipped away early.

Nursing the glass in his hands, Oikawa watched as Iwaizumi danced slowly within the small crowd, arms wrapped loosely around his girlfriend's slender waist. Usually Hana's height didn't even reach his shoulders but in her obscenely tall heels she was able to rest her head upon them, eyes fluttering closed as her hips swayed gently in his hands.

The alcohol burned.

Oikawa ordered another shot, silently vowing this will be his last.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Without waiting for an answer a man jumped onto the stool besides him, smiling up through silvery lashes and a flushed glow to his skin. Oikawa's brows raised, forcing his lips into a smile.

"How unusual, Mr. Refreshing is seeking me out."

"That's not my name." He said, shaking his head although the smile remained on his lips, "You know it by now."

"Alright, Sugawara-kun." Oikawa sighed, this interaction becoming more irritating by the moment. He glanced at the shot resting on the counter. "Is there any particular reason you are speaking to me?"

"Just Suga is fine." Suga said, "And don't smile like that. I know it's not real."

Oikawa's face fell, the smile dropping right from his expression.

"I can see how you are looking at him, Iwaizumi I mean." He continued, "Does he know?"

"He knows." Oikawa pursed his lips, wondering why he needed to tell all of this to a vague acquaintance, "Shocked but supportive, he said it would never get in the way of our friendship. Hajime never treated me any different after I confessed to him."

"That's lucky." Suga said, crossing his legs with a pleasant smile. Oikawa scowled.

"Lucky? Falling in love with a straight man?" He matched his posture, folding his arms, "What would you know of that feeling?"

The smile never left Suga's face.

"I just watched the man I am in love with get married today."

Oh.

Everything began to fall into place. The passionate best man speech that Suga delivered before dinner with stray tears running down his cheeks, until he had to 'excuse himself' into the bathroom. Despite his unfaltering smile, appearing as though he would rather be anywhere else but watching his best friend get married.

Wordlessly Oikawa pushed his shot towards Suga. He blinked for a moment before flashing a grin, picking up the glass and pouring it down his throat easily. With a small gasp and shudder in his throat, he slammed the empty glass down onto the counter. Oikawa raised his eyebrow but did not speak as Suga left his stool, taking a slightly unsteady step closer to him.

"I can help you forget him." He said, voice a whisper into his ear, "I won't let you think of Iwaizumi tonight, not when I'm pressing you into the sheets."

Perhaps Suga was already more drunk than Oikawa had assumed, or had a weaker tolerance than he did to shots. However he wasn't against the prospect. Oikawa needed to forget. He needed it so badly.

"Is that a promise?"

Suga grinned, turning his back to him and beginning to walk away with a flick of his wrist in a silent beckoning. He took one last look at Iwaizumi, his lips pressed to Hana's neck with adoration in his gaze.

Oikawa followed.

 

As best man, Suga had a room in the hotel with the sort of luxury that would usually not be affordable for either of them. The king sized bed stretched out as they entered, inviting them with their silken sheets to become wrapped within them.

Suga wasted no time, turning his back to Oikawa with a coy glance as he unbuttoned his shirt and let it slip off pale shoulders onto the floor. As he began to undo his zip, Oikawa matched his pace, quickly shedding his shirt and undressing to his boxers. He was not yet hard but an aching was growing within him with Suga's teasing, almost feminine hips swaying as he walked towards him.

Arms wrapped around his neck as a warm body pressed against him, flowery breath blowing onto his skin. Suga smiled before leaning in and capturing his lips with his own, tongue grazing against his lower lip. Oikawa kissed back, becoming hungrier as their tongues and hips began to move in sync.

Clumsy touches and awkward kisses that Oikawa had expected from one who carried himself with the poise and graces of an angel were not present. Suga's movements were calculated and controlled, latching himself onto exposed skin and sucking deep marks into them with the graze of teeth. Oikawa was quickly catching up to the fact that he was not as innocent as he thought.

Suga had clearly succumbed to the same feelings he had many a time, needing someone to take him and fuck the loneliness away. Even just for one night.

Blinding kisses turned to almost angry grinding until Oikawa found himself falling backwards onto the bed, Suga climbing over him as their hardness rubbed together. He could not remember when their underwear was removed, but they were, the heat of pure skin against skin creating a fire that burned within him. Too soon the friction was gone, replaced by something cold and sticky pressing against his hole. Suga's fingers rubbed against him, the sensations quickly warming up, before a finger entered him in a quick thrust.

Oikawa threw his head back against the pillow and moaned. Suga almost smirked, before whispering praise into his ear through it, telling Oikawa _how good he was, how perfect he was being for him, how beautiful he looked with his fingers knuckle deep inside_. It was all Oikawa didn't know he needed to hear, the noises leaving his mouth embarrassing as he all but whimpered underneath him.

Suga's preparation was slow and thorough, Oikawa feeling stretched as his eyes shut tight and body relaxed. Despite no longer being able to see Suga he could feel him, smell the sweat mixing with alcohol the perfume he wore. When the fingers were removed and the familiar sound of a packet ripping spoke through the quiet room, Oikawa knew he was ready. His breathing already quickened in anticipation.

Suga buried himself slowly inside Oikawa, a long groan drawn from his throat. He barely waited for Oikawa to adjust before thrusting slowly but firmly, balls bouncing and slapping against the curve of his ass. A sweet sound left Suga's lips, drawing himself out slowly again before slamming back inside. Oikawa _screamed_. He wrapped his arms around Suga's thin back, needing to clutch onto something as he repeated the move.

Unable to help the pleas rushing in a steady stream from his lips, Oikawa begged for it faster, harder, _more_. Suga complied with a low grunt, increasing his pace just enough as he continued to slam into the spots that made Oikawa arch his back and claw marks into pale skin.

When he came it was with a choked gasp and Suga's hand around his cock, the air leaving his lungs as he spurted onto his stomach between them. Suga's hips stuttered, speeding up through breathy moans until they pushed in one last time with a growl of Oikawa's name into his mouth.

 

Oikawa woke up with an ache in his behind. His skin felt clean, a fresh scent coming from them. He couldn't remember if he took a shower the previous night or if Suga had cleaned him. The clock read 4:31 am, just half an hour before the first train. Propping himself onto his elbows, Oikawa eased the sheets off him before standing up and letting the cold hotel room air hit his exposed skin. Suga had not stirred, his breathing steady with the occasional quiet breathy snore slipping out.

Oikawa was not able to get a good look at Suga the night before, and now he wished he spent more time focusing on the lines of his face and the curves of his body. Hair that caught the faint light in silvery wisps were splayed out on the pillow, skin pale and impossibly soft. His lips were plump and a pale pink, expression much more relaxed than the sly glances and flirty winks when he was awake.

Suga was pretty. Beautiful, really. Oikawa didn't date pretty men. _He_ had to be the prettiest in any relationship. Oikawa liked strong, dependable men with a trustworthy aura and large muscular arms to protect him with. Suga wasn't his type. And he was sure he wasn't Suga's either by the physique and personality of Sawamura.

Quickly, Oikawa gathered his creased clothing from the floor and climbed into them. Suga had been a nice distraction. It was almost a shame that it wouldn't happen again.

He took one last look at Suga, sleeping soundly in his bed, before leaving the hotel room.

 

Progress on his research was not going as smoothly as he would have liked. Oikawa replaced the lid on his pen and narrowed his eyes at the charts spread across the better part of his floor. It seemed as though there would be a few more late nights ahead of him and many more trips to his university facilities.

Oikawa picked up his phone to check his schedule just as it began ringing. Almost dropping it in surprise, he steadied his hands and peered at the number. Unknown. For a moment he debated whether to take the call before conceding, putting the handset against his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Is that Oikawa?"

The voice sounded familiar, very familiar, yet he couldn't quite place it. Perhaps one of his students in the undergraduate module that he taught, but no honorifics were used with his name. He frowned, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Yes, it is?"

"Oh, good." The voice said, audibly relaxing, "It's Suga, by the way. I got your number from Daichi."

Oikawa sighed deeply, loud enough to be heard over the phone. Resting his chin on his hands despite not being able to be seen he kept the tone of his voice as flat and as bored sounding as possible.

"Why are you calling me?"

"Do you like cake?"

"Not particularly."

"Really?" Suga seemed surprised. "I thought you would."

"Well I don't." Oikawa said firmly, hoping that Suga would get the message and hang up.

"Then what do you like?"

"I'm not telling you." Oikawa said, fully aware of how childish it sounded. Yet he didn't care. "I'm not meeting up with you.

"I'll pay."

That changed everything.

 

He met Suga an hour later at a bakery close to Oikawa's apartment. He was not sure if it was convenient for Suga to get to, but he thought of it as an extra punishment for asking him out. Suga was already waiting for him when he arrived, flicking idly through his phone. His grey fringe was sticking out of a beanie hat that suited him more than Oikawa would have thought, and his tight fitting clothes were fashionable in an understated way as he stood out among the other people in the area. Suga was still pretty in daylight and without the haze of alcohol.

As Suga noticed him, he looked up from his phone and flashed a blinding grin in his direction. Oikawa swallowed, the corners of his lips instinctively turning up despite not wanting to.

"Thank you for coming!" He said, latching immediately to Oikawa's side and whacking him on the shoulder, "Let's go inside. You can order anything."

Suga was true to his word and payed for Oikawa's entire order, despite him choosing one of the more pricier drinks to go with his milk bread and churros. He didn't seem to mind, sitting down opposite him at a window seat with his tray laden with the sweetest treats the bakery offered. Suga removed his hat, flattening down his hair, before once again smiling towards him.

"What have you been doing today?"

"Working on research for my project." Oikawa said, stirring the straw in his drink without lifting his eyes and trying not to groan at the small talk, "It was going amazingly before you disturbed me."

"Oh yes, I heard you were a student." Suga said brightly despite his comment, "Studying for a phd in something complicated sounding? Er..."

"Astrophysics." Oikawa supplied with a sigh, "Clearly you don't understand the wonders of the universe, Suga-chan."

Suga's eyes flashed with something, before he leaned over and rested his chin on his hands.

"Maybe you should teach me."

That was it. He put down his drink and gave Suga his full attention.

"A sympathy fuck is one thing." Oikawa said, narrowing his eyes, "But I don't do sympathy dates."

"Who said it was out of sympathy?" Suga asked, "At least, not entirely?"

"So it was partly."

"Well, you did look sort of pathetic that night. Sitting there downing shots at the bar while keeping your gaze fixed on Iwaizumi like you wanted to burst into tears."

"I didn't want to burst-"

"I enjoyed our night together, even if some parts of it are a blur." Suga said, his voice becoming serious as he cut into Oikawa's words, "I think we could have a connection, and I want to explore it."

Oikawa knew this was coming. You didn't ask a one night stand out for bread and pastries unless you wanted something more. More that he neither wanted to or was prepared to give.

"We aren't each other's types." Oikawa said, the excuse sounding lamer aloud than in his head. Suga's grin widened, his eyes sparkling.

"Doesn't that make things more exciting?"

Oikawa didn't think it did. Pushing his plate away he folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against his chair.

"Thank you for the bread." He said, "Are we going to fuck now?"

Suga laughed, the pretty sound ringing through the room.

"Not this time." He said.

"You think there will be _another_ time?"

 

Yet there was another time. And a time after that. Oikawa began to commit to memory the way Suga bent as he thrust into him over and over, began to memorise the soft breathy sounds that left his throat as he clawed patterns into his back. They switched often, enjoying the give and take of their game. Suga liked to fuck him slow and deep, taking his time to build them to climax with well timed thrusts with more power than it seemed he could be capable of. Oikawa did the opposite- always taking Suga at a fast pace that left them both shuddering and breathless.

A 'friends with benefits' situation was a lot more convenient than random hookups for meeting his sexual needs, is what Oikawa always said to Suga when he came back for more, despite emphasising that they were barely even friends.

Suga always hummed, or laughed, before cupping his cheeks in his hand and kissing him firmly. He was beginning to doubt those words himself.

 

Oikawa had lost count of their encounters, maybe after the fifth or six, when he began to crave something different.

"Are you gonna leave again?"

Suga's voice was rough around the edges after sex, head not moving from it's position buried into the pillow. Oikawa always left.

"Not this time." Oikawa said before adding, "I don't have the fare for the taxi."

That was only an excuse. An excuse that was untrue. Both of them probably knew that.

"Then will you hold me?"

Through the sleep ridden words came a sense of hope that Oikawa could pick up on. It was a request that he had considered himself more than once, a desire that he had not let himself act upon. Yet with Suga wrapped like a burrito in the thick covers, looking more vulnerable than he had ever seen him, Oikawa considered it the right time.

"This time only."

Oikawa always liked to imagine how Iwaizumi's thick arms would feel wrapped around his body, holding him close and whispering into his ear how he would keep him safe all night long. He did not picture himself as the holder, having another snuggling into his body and resting their head upon his chest.

It was nice. Suga's weight was perfect against him, providing just the right amount of warmth. Oikawa couldn't help but press a kiss to the mass of curls on his head, Suga sighing contently and shifting closer against him. He rested his arm across his slim waist, keeping Suga next to him.

Suga would hold him too, Oikawa knew, if he asked. He might not have muscular arms or a defined torso but he did have his own charm, with soft skin, warm eyes and delicious curves. Suga was addictive.

"I'm still prettier." He muttered, threading his hands through Suga's hair.

He lifted his head, shaking off the hand with a smile that could be mistaken for confusion.

"I thought that was obvious?"

The heat that rushed through Oikawa's body and filled into his cheeks was entirely Suga's fault.

 

Oikawa used to feel guilty for picturing his best friend as he gripped his spit-slicked cock, yet now it was just part of his routine. Thanks to shared showers and locker rooms throughout their lives Oikawa had a good mental image of how Iwaizumi looked, from the thickness of his arms to the defined abdominal muscles that lead down to his above average sized cock. He had years of fantasies to use, elements from each one blending into one as his eyes fluttered close and a tiny moan left his mouth.

The image of Iwaizumi suddenly shifted, a strong body with hard lines morphing into something smoother and curved with silver accents that caught the light.

Oikawa came hard, biting down on his lip to muffle the sounds that clawed to leave.

That was unexpected.

 

"It's not super high, but it's still a fever." Iwaizumi groaned, eyes narrowed at the thermometer before tossing it aside. "Better stay in bed today and be quiet for once."

"But Iwa-chan, you can't possibly leave me here alone when I'm dying." Oikawa whined, his body feeling shivery despite the sweat it was producing.

"You're not dying, stupid."

Oikawa wasn't, but his body felt like it. He awoke that morning to sodden sheets and a head that threatened to explode. In his grogginess he called Iwaizumi, thankful that it was a Saturday. His best friend answered his call, rushing to his help despite a pretence of complaints.

"Stay and look after me?"

Iwaizumi sighed, running his hands through messy black hair. He didn't answer straight away, walking to the kitchen and filling a glass with water and putting it on Oikawa's bedside table.

"I've already promised to go shopping with Hana to help her pick out a present for her brother's birthday. It's tomorrow, so we can't really put it off."

Iwaizumi didn't need to make excuses, he didn't really even have to stay. Oikawa did not feel so ill that he couldn't cope himself, yet he couldn't help but protest further.

"Choosing your girlfriend over your dying best friend, how cruel."

Oikawa hated the look of guilt that overcame Iwaizumi, as though he was in the wrong for wanting to spend time with his girlfriend. Oikawa hated how he always did that.

"I can come over with Hana to check on you tonight if you need me, just let me know. Okay?" He said, finding a usual compromise between them.

Oikawa mumbled an okay and buried his head within the covers.

After Iwaizumi left he tried to sleep, waves of heat that alternated with chills making it difficult. He coughed, reaching for the rest of his water and emptying the glass. Oikawa dragged himself up with trembling legs, managing to make his way to the tap. He refilled the glass before collapsing onto the sofa with it and taking small sips.

He wasn't feeling any better. Oikawa looked at his phone. Iwaizumi was out, and that did not leave him with many choices. His hand hovered over Suga's number. Swallowing his pride, he pressed his thumb down. The phone rang three times before the call connected.

"Are you busy right now?" Oikawa asked quickly before Suga could speak, trying not to betray the desperation in his scratchier than usual voice.

"Oikawa, isn't it a bit early for-"

"I have a fever."

There was a short pause before Suga spoke again.

"So instead of just your usual booty call, you want me to play nurse now?"

The _yes_ came easier than he would have liked. Suga sighed, before saying he will be on his way and hanging up the phone.

He arrived not long later, laptop underneath his arm and bags underneath his eyes. Suga's usual bright aura was nowhere to be seen as he marched into the room, placing his laptop on the coffee table. Oikawa could not help but feel he had caught him at a bad time.

"Mm, you don't look great. What's your temperature?" He asked, placing his hand on Oikawa's forehead with his usual soft tone.

"38.1" Oikawa replied, not allowing his eyes to close at the touch. "It's not so bad."

"Could be worse." Suga agreed, pulling a stick on cold compress from his bag and affixing it to his forehead. "Go and lie down with that on. I'll be working in here if you need me."

He sat down on the sofa and lifted the lid on his laptop, immediately beginning to type. Oikawa didn't move, fixing his mouth into a pout.

"I thought you were going to nurse me back to health?"

Suga stopped typing with an uncharacteristic groan.

"I should have known you would be a needy nightmare when ill." He said with a roll of his eyes, the words being both offensive and true."You admitted yourself it isn't _that_ bad. And my deadline is approaching. I am actually rather stressed right now and need to get this done."

It occurred to Oikawa that he knew very little about Suga besides his body and the few things he had shared during his interactions. His career was a mystery to him. He was the one who loved to talk about himself. Oikawa grabbed his water and sat next to Suga on the sofa.

"What sort of work is it?"

"I'm a translator." Suga said, eyes still focused on the screen, "I work freelance."

Oikawa blinked.

"I didn't know you could speak English."

"I can't." Suga said with a chuckle, turning his laptop screen around so Oikawa could see. His eyebrow raised, the writing unexpected. "At least not well enough to translate it. I work with Korean and German."

"An unusual combination." Oikawa said, unable to help feeling some admiration for someone who could communicate in so many languages.

"I guess so." Suga smiled, beginning to relax further, "But I love being able to speak both of them."

 

Oikawa watched Suga work as he drifted in and out of sleep. The compress on his head had already become hot and was now noneffective, beads of sweat dripping down his body. Wondering if Suga had another compress in his bag, Oikawa stood up.

His legs gave way immediately, falling to the floor as he was overcome with dizziness

"Oikawa!"

He noticed the change of expression in Suga immediately. The stress and exasperation in eyes had vanished and was replaced with pure worry, his face softening.

"It's okay, you're okay." He said, murmuring the words against his damp hair as he rushed to his side.

Suga helped him to the bed. Although he was unable to carry him, he supported his weight the best he could, making sure he was tucked comfortably into the covers.

"Your fever has gotten worse." Suga said, biting his lip as he looked at the thermometer, "Do you have any medicine? A bucket I can use to soak towels?"

"What...are you actually going to nurse me?" Oikawa's voice was too cracked to hold any sarcasm, his body shivering under the blankets that felt too thin.

The expression that faced him was determined, gaze strong.

"Yes, I am."

 

When Oikawa next woke, he was dressed in fresh pyjamas and a damp flannel was upon his forehead. As soon as he noticed him stir, Suga was at his side fussing. Asking about how he felt, if he was too hot or cold, replacing the flannel with one which was cooler. Oikawa barely remained conscious long enough to reply before falling back asleep.

The third time he woke _Suga_ was asleep. His hand was gripping his own as he slept with his head on his lap, giving him excess heat that he really did not need. However Oikawa could not bring it in himself to pull away. Although he still felt weak and shivery, he definitely felt better. The curtains were not yet drawn but the room was completely dark. _How long had Suga been looking after him?_

Oikawa's phone was next to his bed. He reached for it, making sure not to disturb Suga. 2:05 am. Oikawa swore under his breath. Did Suga meet his deadline? His gaze returned to his sleeping form, not able to find the answer in his calm breathing. Oikawa shifted him carefully, trying to pull him properly into the bed. Suga stirred but did not wake, allowing his body to be moulded into a more comfortable sleeping position. Flannels and towels lay scattered across the floor. Suga looked exhausted.

"Thank you." He whispered into the soft hair he was growing to love, stroking it gently.

Oikawa returned to his phone. There were several messages from Iwaizumi, even one from _Hana_ , and a missed call. The messages became increasingly frantic, wanting to make sure he was okay. Fingers still shaky, he typed a reply telling him not to worry. He had been looked after just fine.

Oikawa felt safe.

 

Suga was in Korea for work, and Oikawa would not admit that he missed him. Only he did, and the urge to jump onto the next plane for Seoul was something he did not think he would ever have to fight. It was only a short trip, Suga said before he left, and he often had to travel further for longer. Oikawa was not sure why that idea made him nauseous.

The day in which he was due to return, Oikawa could no longer resist. His fingers punched the message before his mind could think.

_'What time do you reach Haneda?'_

Suga's reply came quickly, Oikawa thankful that there was no time difference between the two countries.

_'Why? Are you gonna meet me at the airport? You missed me that much?'_

Oikawa groaned, hated that his intentions had been found out so easily. Typical of Suga. When he did not reply another message arrived from him, telling him all he needed to know.

_'I arrive at 4:20 pm.'_

The train journey to Haneda from Shinagawa station was not that long, and Oikawa arrived with plenty of time until the plane was due to land. He hoped that Suga would not have much luggage- he was the one with the car, not him, and he did not want to try lugging a heavy suitcase back on the train.

Oikawa was in luck. Suga came bounding through the departure gates looking fresh after his flight, nothing but a backpack slung over his shoulder. He locked eyes with Oikawa, rushing over before flinging himself onto him with arms wrapping around his neck.

"Don't worry, I missed you too Tooru." He said, cheeks flushing with the weight of his smile as he kissed him deeply. Not a care was given to the onlookers as Oikawa kissed back, pulling apart just before his control began to slip.

"Welcome back, Koushi."

 

When they fucked that night in the sheets that were already soaked in Suga's scent it felt different. Desperate kisses turned into soft touches and gentle words, taking time to explore and caress every part of each other's bodies. Oikawa wasn't certain that it could be called fucking anymore.

 

Suga was the first to hear about Oikawa's acceptance to the astronomy project at the national centre that he was desperate to join, celebrating the night rutting together until they collapsed of exhaustion. When Sawamura announced he and his wife were expecting their first child, Oikawa held Suga through sobs that he thought he was over this, rocking them together until he felt better. Insecurities were kissed away by both of them.

 

"Tooru?" Iwaizumi's voice was barely louder than the movie in the background, his eyes flicking towards him for a moment before returning to the screen."You've been annoying me much less than usual recently."

"Thanks." Oikawa said drily, his statement completely out of the blue in the middle of their fortnightly movie night.

Iwaizumi cleared his throat loudly, pausing the film despite still not meeting his gaze.

"I was wondering..."

After waiting for a moment it seemed like the sentence was never going to be completed. Rolling his eyes, Oikawa clicked his tongue.

"Wondering what, Hajime?"

"Wondering if you had a, y'know, boyfriend?"

Iwaizumi was never good with these topics. He disliked gossip and although he did show some interest in Oikawa's love life he was never sure how to bring it up. Yet, Oikawa was surprised that he would be both observant to notice that they had spoken less recently, and curious enough to ask about it. He had barely noticed the change himself.

"There is no boyfriend." Oikawa said slowly, thinking the words through, "But...there might be a man."

"That's good. I mean it." Iwaizumi said, the sincerity almost too much, "You have seemed happier recently. You deserve someone who treats you well and can give you...what you need."

_What I can't_. Is how Oikawa heard those words.

"He's not my boyfriend, though." He repeated, "But..."

But what? Oikawa swallowed. Did he want him to be? Until now, Oikawa had done his best to not think about feelings. They were messy things that could complicate everything. However it was getting increasingly difficult to keep denying them.

"Tell him how you feel." Iwaizumi said firmly.

Oikawa scoffed, and returned to the movie.

 

The words he tried not to say shot out as Suga was riding him, head thrown back in a beautiful cry with sweat dripping down rose tinted skin.

"I love you."

Suga _laughed_ , stopping his movements only for a moment before bouncing with new vigour, his vice grip on Oikawa's thighs tightening.

"It's 'bout time." He gasped, lifting his hips one more time before stilling himself as Oikawa worked him through his climax with shaking hands.

 

"Forget I said anything." Oikawa said afterwards, trying to dress himself as quickly as possible. It had been a long time since he had left straight after sex, the hurt in Suga's eyes impossible to miss.

"Oh no you don't." He said, the sheets he tried to cover himself with slipping away as he stood up. "You fucking don't."

Suga didn't swear. Not usually, not unless he was hit in the right place, the words sounding dirtier coming from his mouth.

"I can't do relationships Koushi, I can't." Oikawa said quickly, looking away from him. He couldn't bare to see Suga looking like that, especially knowing he was the one doing it to him.

"And why is that?" Suga said, anger in his tone, "You seemed to be doing fine with me before. We might not have put a label to what we were doing, but it was a relationship, what else could it have been?"

Oikawa didn't answer that question. It _couldn't_ have been a relationship.

"I will never forget Hajime, Koushi, never." Oikawa raised his own voice, "I don't know quite what it is I feel for him anymore, but I feel something and that will never go away."

"I know."

"Then you should understand why we can't do this. You deserve someone who will give you 100%."

"No, I want you. I don't care about that. You know I will always feel something for Daichi, too."

"Koushi-"

"Look at me Tooru!"

Oikawa turned his head, facing Suga slowly.

"We fit together, Tooru. We work. Why does anything else matter?" Suga was shouting now, red faced and his nakedness not removing any of the impact. "I didn't mean to fall in love with you either, but I did. I love you too. I love you, I love you, I love you Tooru so please-"

Oikawa had never moved so quickly. He placed his hands on either side of Suga's cheeks and slammed his lips onto his, swallowing up the rest of the pleas and the saltiness that had ran onto them.

 

It was inevitable that Iwaizumi would announce his engagement. Marriage was something that he had talked to Oikawa about frequently, and he was just waiting for the right timing to ask Hana for her hand. That time came just as the trees were beginning to blossom into petals that fell around them.

Oikawa arrived at the announcement with his hand in Suga's. Iwaizumi was ecstatic, fussing over them immediately with a expression that seemed equal parts relieved as happy. Suga relished the attention, kissing Oikawa on the cheek as he squeezed his hand, checking that he was okay.

Oikawa simply smiled, looking his best friend in the eye. He could sincerely give his congratulations.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :)
> 
> This idea came to me on the train, and I just had to try writing it! I really like this pairing, although it leans towards the rarer side. I wanted to write the process of how Oikawa and Suga could fall in love over time, and although it was difficult it was fun too.  
> If you enjoyed it, please let me know!


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